1st Grade!!

I am so behind!! Brooklyn started 1st grade this year, and she absolutely loves it! She loves learning, and it is so fun to watch her learn new things. My favorite is listening to her read to me. She gets better every day! Her favorite part of school is definitely lunch (takes after her mother here...) and she loves that she gets to eat school lunch. One day she even went and asked for seconds :) Our backyard fence borders the school, and occasionally I practice my stealthy-stalker-spy-mom moves and watch her play at recess through my lilac bushes.(In the winter it is easier because the bushes are little, and I can watch her in the comfort of my own cozy kitchen while I am doing the dishes..)Wow!! I really am a stalker-mom!! Who knew?!? Anyway, point is, she is not my little girl anymore. People tried to prepare me for this moment, but I think it is one of those things you can never be truly ready for. And I don't even know when it happened. I remember rocking her in my arms, singing her to sleep, so little she could fit snugly on my shoulder, and I prayed for her as I put her in her crib. Now she fills her twin bed. She picks her own outfits. She wants to be a veterinarian. She has worries and responsibilities. And she prays for me. My soul now understands the depth of the term "bitter-sweet".

Happy Birthday Dyson Bear!!!

I still can't believe it, but on Saturday little Dyson turned 1!!!! We had a fun day of celebrating. First, we went out to Grandma and Grandpa Turner's and had a big party, and then we headed over to Grandma and Grandpa Hofheins for dinner and another party!! Because we call Dyson our "Little Bear", I thought it would be fun to make him a teddy bear cake for his birthday. I have never really made a big cake before, so it was all a very new experience for me! It wasn't perfect, and I almost went insane...but it was mostly fun, and totally worth it when he dove in! (The paws detached so that he could have his very own cake to tear apart.) I can't believe that he is getting so big! He is such a sweet little boy, and overall is pretty happy all of the time! He loves playing with his big sisters, and his trucks...he is such a boy! I can't remember what my life was like before he came along. We are so blessed to have him!! I love you buddy!

Impromptu Haircuts

I had always heard stories about little kids cutting their own hair, or their siblings hair, but I piously believed that it would never happen to me...HA HA!! Well, I had been away for the day at a Day Camp for my church calling. (I will just throw in here that they would probably have done this regardless if I was home or not...Derick is actually a very good babysitter...:)and she had cleaned up the evidence and hid it very carefully...) When I came home, Brooklyn came to greet me, and I immediately noticed that something was different with her hair. It took me a second to figure it out, and I asked her about it. Her face immediately dropped, and she was instantly regretting her decision. She told me that she had cut it. Well, then Ashlyn walked into the room. Not wanting to keep her new hair styling skills all to herself, she decided to cut Ashlyn's as well. I'd like to think that I kept an equal balance in my funny vs. angry emotions...but I think anger probably won out. Luckily she had only taken two snips of each of their hair, so it could have been much worse!! We immediately called Grandma Turner, and she very kindly opened up her schedule to fix it for us! Thanks Grandma! I actually love the girls hair short, and we got an extra reason to go see grandma and grandpa! Never again will I say never!!



Hiding the evidence in her "special drawer"...



Brooklyn looking very remorseful....



Ashlyn just going with the flow...



The new look...

Memorial Day Weekend

Every Memorial Day weekend for as long as I can remember, me and all of my immediate Hofheins family get together. This year we decided to have everyone up at our house in Morgan for a camp out! We had such a good time (despite the one bathroom for 24 people)! We played games, roasted marshmallows, had an olympics day, did movies on the projector every night, read a lot, and the kids topped it off with a skit that they made up!! I feel so blessed to belong to the family that I do. They are my best friends, and my biggest supporters. Love you guys!! Can't wait for next year!

Pop's Party!!

Every year at Morgan Elementary School the Kindergarten puts on a Pop's Party. There is a special musical program, a dinner, and games and crafts. All kindergarten students and their dad's are able to participate. Brooklyn was so excited for her big date with dad! They got to wear their best dress, get their pictures taken, and they had a fun night just the two of them!

Dance Review!!!

Brooklyn had her year end Dance Review this last week!! We all had taken turns with a stomach flu, but luckily we got better just in time. We were there for a little over 3 hours, and I think she was on stage for maybe 10 minutes total, but it was worth it! She is in her element when she is performing. I am very proud of her!




Ashlyn was pretty much passed out on Grandma Turner's lap the whole time!



Dyson loved dancing and clapping to the music!!

Clogging Competition!!!

Brooklyn has been taking a clogging class this year, and this last Saturday she got to perform in her first clogging competition at Lagoon!! It was rainy, and we were all soaking wet, but it was a lot of fun to be able to see her perform! She loves it, and her big smile lights up the stage!! Her team, The Cajun Gals, ended up taking 2nd place in their group!! Great job Brookie!!!


(Dyson was having so much fun in his car seat listening to all the loud music. He couldn't move very much, but it was fun to watch him having fun!)

You delicately take the glove out of the worn, wooden box underneath your bed, the one that holds all of your most cherished treasures. You slowly raise it to your face, inhaling deeply, slowly. You slip your fingers delicately into the leather, savoring the way your fingers fit perfectly into their slots. Warm. Safe. A smile creeps across your face as you flex your hand and hear the gentle squeak of time passed. You reach back into your box and find your small vile of precious oil. You unscrew the lid and gently squeeze. Just three drops, right in the center. I stand in the doorway unnoticed, watching your ritual. Your arm flexes as you purposefully rub the oil into the glove. Back and forth. Back and forth. Pressing. Shaping. Back and forth until drops of sweat have beaded across your forehead. You flex your hand again. Again the smile. Silence. Satisfied you bring the glove back to your face. I inhale slowly, deeply. Tears form in the corners of my tired eyes and I let them drop to the floor. Just three. You reluctantly place the glove back into the box and quietly slide it back under the bed. Your eyes move anxiously to the doorway, but it is empty. Just like the glove.

Easter 2009!!

I had a LOT of pictures!! Forgive me for having so many, but I really couldn't choose which ones to post!!

Zoo!!

On Saturday after the MS Walk we got to go to the zoo with all of the Turner's. We all had a lot of fun, and the cousins had a great time spending the day together! This was Dyson's first zoo trip, and he loved watching all of the animals, but he fell asleep halfway through!! Oh well!! We had a great time anyway!!

MS Walk 2009!!!

For those of you who don't know, my sister-in-law, Megan, who is just 23, was diagnosed with MS this January. So Saturday we all had the opportunity to go support her and MS research, participating in the MS walk at the Gateway in Salt Lake. It was a great day, and was really neat to be there with all of the family and thousands of others to support a great cause. I love you Megan!!

Dyson and me all ready to start the walk!!



Derick feeling the inspiration of the moment...


Everyone crowding in at the Gateway


The walk...

Our family with our medals!!!

General Conference!!

Wow! Did I need that! What an amazing weekend. I felt like a sponge that had been sitting under the sink for months that had become all dried up and crusty, like I had forgotten what I was, what my purpose was. Then the music for the first session started. "Press Forward Saints, with steadfast faith in Christ..." and drop by drop I started absorbing the moisture. I began taking shape again. The fuller I got, the more I remembered. I am not some un-needed, crusty, old, dried up sponge. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, and He loves me. Another drop. I am a strong Christian. Another drop. I know...and I KNOW that I know. The drops were coming fast now, and things were getting much clearer and brighter. I am a lilly in my Heavenly Father's eternal field of grace and truth. My faith is not, and cannot afford to be circumstantial. Faith is a choice. There is no place in my soul for doubt, and discouragement, for these are just off-shoots of fear, fear in sheep's clothing, and faith and fear CANNOT co-exist. My future is as bright as my faith!! I do not walk alone, for Jesus Christ is standing beside me to succor me. He is my brother, and my advocate. And that, in itself, is all I need. All anyone needs. He is the Everlasting Water that fills my thirsty soul, He is my joy. And this is my testimony. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Updates!!

I swear all I did was blink and my kids all seem so grown up! I've got to be honest, it's a little bitter-sweet. Some days I want them to just stay the way they are right now forever. But then there are all of those other days that make me change my mind....know what I mean?... ;) Anyway, my kids have all hit some big milestones these last few weeks (okay...big for me...) and I wanted to share with you all!

Brooklyn turned 6 this last month!! I can't believe it! She is growing up, and even got to go on her first field trip!! She helps us out a lot with her brother and sister, and is such a good girl! She loves to make people laugh and is so much fun to be around!!

I can't believe I actually get to say this....but after giving up all hope that there was any light at the end of the potty-training tunnel....we did it!!! Yes we did. ASHLYN IS POTTY TRAINED!! I don't know if it is cute or just plain pathetic that I am so excited about it...but I don't care. It is done. Hallelujah.

And now to Dyson! This is Dyson on a typical day. He is such a happy, joyful little boy :) He is such a good baby, and I honestly love being around him. He has such a sweet, tender little spirit. It is fun having a little boy around the house to help balance out all of the estrogen! Dyson rolls all over the place, and just this week he has figured out that he can move a lot faster if he army-crawls...(kind of wish he hadn't figured that one out yet...)! He loves being around his big sisters and love loves to pull their hair...much to their dismay:)

Okay...promise I am wrapping up :) Last week Derick and I got to get away for a night to the Alaskan Inn, an awesome B&B in Ogden Canyon. It was nice to spend some time away from the kids relaxing. I highly recommend it... but will spare you all other details... ;)

Okay...I really am done. Thanks you to those of you who made it through this long post!

Elevator Watching

The elevator door opens and there stands a woman. Very tall. Very old. The deep lines etched in her face a tell-tale sign of her years spent hoarding her money. In her arms is perhaps the fattest white cat that I have ever seen. If it weren't for the loud purring I would have mistaken it for something else entirely. Each purr spoke of its life. L-a-z-y. S-p-o-i-l-e-d. R-i-c-h. The woman is absent-mindedly stroking it, petting it as if it were stuffed with hundred dollar bills, diamonds and rubies glistening on each of her wiry, knobby fingers. Her face is set in a slight smirk as the artificial lighting bounces off of her purplish-tinted, perfectly manicured hair. The flint in her eyes send fiery sprays, almost singeing the poor, dead animal draped around her fragile frame, the fur holding her body together in tiny, cold pieces. My eyes meet hers and they echo into her emptiness. Loneliness. Sadness. Regret. Just a flash, and then it is gone. She clutches her prized cat to her chest, resigned to her fate. I watch the door close and the elevator numbers climb to the very, very top.

Just like the mirror on the bathroom stand
that I Windex-ed with a swipe of hand-
As crystal-clear as it seemed to me
My reflection echoes backwards---see?
Not perplexing as you thought it be...
even if there are some little streaks.
So blink, blink your eyes and try again
with the lightbulb on- the room not dim.
I'll try my best to move perfectly
so you won't mis-judge mistakenly--
My reflection echoes backwards---see??
Easy. You just mis-understand me.
02-17-09

Love Letters...

Allow me to wax a little sentimental today, to dig into the deep, hopelessly romantic side of myself and say that I am just in love with love letters! Period. There is just something about a hand-written declaration of love that does something for the soul. The way you can save them and re-read them until the edges are frayed and worn, until the paper yellows and is almost see-through, the words like warming sunshine breaking through the clouds on a cold, stormy day. I can't think of a person in this entire universe that wouldn't benefit from a love letter. In fact, I think this world would be a much better place if we would all let our guards down a little bit more and express our love to others. The minute we think about it. No waiting. I was the recipient of a love letter this week...(giver shall remain anonymous--and as a side note- and quite possibly unrelated- let the record show that I have the best husband in the whole wide world)...and I feel like I am on cloud 89!! So people, get out your pens and papers, pick someone to write to, and please don't hold back. And it doesn't have to be a sonnet either...as long as it comes directly from the center of your heart. You most definitely will make some one's day- and probably so much more. Okay, that's all from me! Please forgive my cheesiness!! Love you all!

My Beautifully Good Looking Children.....

Tuckered Out!!
Dyson and his cousin Lawson--Best Friends...
Beautiful Boy
Brooklyn and Dyson
Dyson sleeping with his daddy

Brookie and Ashie!!

Bill Me Later

I have often thought that writing is the best form of therapy- so I hope you all don't mind if we have a little cyber-couch session. I will be sitting shoeless with my legs crossed on a worn, overstuffed leather armchair, and you all can take out your fancy pens and imaginary notebooks. Perfect. I feel better already. I suppose one of the most enjoyable parts of therapy (not that I would know...wink,wink...) is being able to say whatever comes to your mind the moment it comes to your mind and letting someone else (preferably a perfect stranger...but we will improvise here) put all the pieces together. So lets give it a go. Ready? Here are some random words off the top of my brain. pain worry family laugh skin gentle speak sad lonely cry break God funeral alcohol friend prayer peace. Hmmm- confusing...maybe slightly interesting--so glad I don't have to figure all of that out. Good luck and let me know what you come up with. I think our time is up.

Change

I have been thinking a lot about change lately, trying to figure out just what it is about it that scares us so badly. Okay, I won't speak for EVERYBODY here, I guess I should say, why it scares ME so badly! Is it the--I-just-woke-up-out-of-a-dead-sleep-body-hurtling-50-mph-through-space-fingers-just-barely-gripping-the-end-of-this-slippery-pole-vault-feeling that a lot of time accompanies change?? It can't be because it is unexpected. Because this is the one thing that I have probably been schooled in the most throughout my life--the fact that things change. Everything changes: friends, loves, relationships, hobbies,bodies,homes,cars,lunch menus...for heaven's sake Pluto is not even a PLANET anymore!! So we really should be planning on change. But do I? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I don't think that this is why change is so scary. I think it might be because change is Heavenly Father's way of moving us forward. Well, it should be moving us forward. We have to choose that part. And that shouldn't be scary, but sometimes, because we are human, it is. And most of the time I choose to let it move me backward, and then I waste a lot of time running in very small, very panicky circles. Because I haven't yet learned how to gracefully turn it all over to Him. But I will. Someday, when I feel like I am once again being pole-vaulted through space, I will be able to close my eyes, relax, and enjoy the ride. I hope.

New Year!

I am going to hopefully do things a little different with my blog this year. As some of you know, I love to write--but I don't take the time to do it very often. So I am going to start writing a lot more this year and then I am going to post it on my page. I am not promising anything fabulous, in fact, a lot of it probably won't be finished, but I would love your feedback. And if any of you are interested in forming some sort of online writing group let me know!! Okay-- here it goes. I put this one together during church today...so this is just a first draft.

Black. Foggy air pressed
against my face so thick
I can taste it. Heavy--my feet
slowly moving forward--
stumbling--one hand out in
front of my body frantic--
searching-- this night so
seemingly forsaken.
But I Am Not. Forsaken.
I sense you--My Shadow
through this fog-- I turn
and find you. My Pillar.
I feel your strength holding
me upright and I balance.
I take this mite--hard-pressed
in my cold, quivering fingers
--and give it to you. The
warmth of your hand
melting into my own.
My Brother.
And all again is light.

01-04-09