Change

I have been thinking a lot about change lately, trying to figure out just what it is about it that scares us so badly. Okay, I won't speak for EVERYBODY here, I guess I should say, why it scares ME so badly! Is it the--I-just-woke-up-out-of-a-dead-sleep-body-hurtling-50-mph-through-space-fingers-just-barely-gripping-the-end-of-this-slippery-pole-vault-feeling that a lot of time accompanies change?? It can't be because it is unexpected. Because this is the one thing that I have probably been schooled in the most throughout my life--the fact that things change. Everything changes: friends, loves, relationships, hobbies,bodies,homes,cars,lunch menus...for heaven's sake Pluto is not even a PLANET anymore!! So we really should be planning on change. But do I? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I don't think that this is why change is so scary. I think it might be because change is Heavenly Father's way of moving us forward. Well, it should be moving us forward. We have to choose that part. And that shouldn't be scary, but sometimes, because we are human, it is. And most of the time I choose to let it move me backward, and then I waste a lot of time running in very small, very panicky circles. Because I haven't yet learned how to gracefully turn it all over to Him. But I will. Someday, when I feel like I am once again being pole-vaulted through space, I will be able to close my eyes, relax, and enjoy the ride. I hope.