Change

I have been thinking a lot about change lately, trying to figure out just what it is about it that scares us so badly. Okay, I won't speak for EVERYBODY here, I guess I should say, why it scares ME so badly! Is it the--I-just-woke-up-out-of-a-dead-sleep-body-hurtling-50-mph-through-space-fingers-just-barely-gripping-the-end-of-this-slippery-pole-vault-feeling that a lot of time accompanies change?? It can't be because it is unexpected. Because this is the one thing that I have probably been schooled in the most throughout my life--the fact that things change. Everything changes: friends, loves, relationships, hobbies,bodies,homes,cars,lunch menus...for heaven's sake Pluto is not even a PLANET anymore!! So we really should be planning on change. But do I? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I don't think that this is why change is so scary. I think it might be because change is Heavenly Father's way of moving us forward. Well, it should be moving us forward. We have to choose that part. And that shouldn't be scary, but sometimes, because we are human, it is. And most of the time I choose to let it move me backward, and then I waste a lot of time running in very small, very panicky circles. Because I haven't yet learned how to gracefully turn it all over to Him. But I will. Someday, when I feel like I am once again being pole-vaulted through space, I will be able to close my eyes, relax, and enjoy the ride. I hope.

New Year!

I am going to hopefully do things a little different with my blog this year. As some of you know, I love to write--but I don't take the time to do it very often. So I am going to start writing a lot more this year and then I am going to post it on my page. I am not promising anything fabulous, in fact, a lot of it probably won't be finished, but I would love your feedback. And if any of you are interested in forming some sort of online writing group let me know!! Okay-- here it goes. I put this one together during church today...so this is just a first draft.

Black. Foggy air pressed
against my face so thick
I can taste it. Heavy--my feet
slowly moving forward--
stumbling--one hand out in
front of my body frantic--
searching-- this night so
seemingly forsaken.
But I Am Not. Forsaken.
I sense you--My Shadow
through this fog-- I turn
and find you. My Pillar.
I feel your strength holding
me upright and I balance.
I take this mite--hard-pressed
in my cold, quivering fingers
--and give it to you. The
warmth of your hand
melting into my own.
My Brother.
And all again is light.

01-04-09